I cower in the sheets, from the voices beneath my bed.
They wish I were dead.
I cover my ears,
cheeks salted with tears;
As nightmares curdled from dreams,
Penetrate my tectonic skin.
You won’t hear my screams because within, I’m dead.
I die a little every day, every time a voice says
I’m not loved and a voice
doesn’t embrace the love
I put forward.
I’m not a coward.
I’m protective. Of myself.
Of the broken pieces
That once my soul shared with another
And just got broken further.
I’ll never again bother, to blossom
If I must end up withered.
I write on these sheets,
what the voices beneath
dictate to me. They make me wish
I were dead.
I can’t cover my ears because the noise
is within me.
Cheeks dried and salted like the fish at the sea,
Have forgotten to blush at your cruel tease.
There are no dreams.
I’m not scared anymore.
You won’t hear my screams because I don’t scream.
I died many ears ago, I no longer can find my soul.
Love is nonexistent.
I’m a fearless coward.
My shield’s broken and I can’t protect myself anymore.
Yet I bother, to get myself out of this bed
Running errands and let pass this life
Like night and day.
I’m hopelessly hopeful
Of sunrises that will never set
And promises made to be kept
Hours so full of bliss they feel like mere minutes
Sands in my feet and the sound of the shores
My head against you heartbeat
I desire no more.
But these sheets have been written on
In ink burning red like the sun
And just like that I’ll be gone.
And you, you won’t even remember me.
They’ll throw away the red sheets
And my words will sag and bleed
Like a torn rag on the streets.
But it doesn’t matter
Not now when I’m deep in the ocean
Away from the loud shores.
It doesn’t matter now if you don’t remember me
I’m the air around you, I always was.
You’ll need me when I’m gone.